|
Let's Ask Bill |
Q - What led up to the decision to write the book
Alcoholics Anonymous?
A - The first A.A. group had come into being but we still had no name.
Those were the years of flying blind, those ensuing two or three years. A slip
in those days was a dreadful calamity. We would look at each other and wonder
who might be next. Failure! Failure! Failure was our constant companion.
I returned home from Akron now endowed with a more becoming humility and less
preaching and a few people began to come to us, a few in Cleveland and Akron. I
had got back into business briefly and again Wall Street collapsed and took me
with it as usual. So I set out West to see if there was something I could do in
that country. Dr. Bob and I of course had been corresponding but it wasn't until
one late fall afternoon in 1937 that I reached his house and sat in his living
room. I can recall the scene as though it were yesterday and we got out a pencil
and paper and we began to put down the names of those people in Akron, New York
and that little sprinkling in Cleveland who had been dry a while and despite the
large number of failures it finally burst upon us that forty people had got a
real release and had significant dry time behind them. I shall never forget that
great and humbling hour of realization. Bob and I saw for the first time that a
new light had begun to shine down upon us alcoholics, had begun to shine upon
the children of the night.
That realization brought an immense responsibility. Naturally, we thought at
once, how shall what we forty know be carried to the millions who don't know?
Within gunshot of this house there must be others like us who are thoroughly
bothered by this obsession. How shall they know? How is this going to be
transmitted?
Up to this time as you must be aware, A.A. was utterly simple. It filled the
full measure of simplicity as is since demanded by a lot of people. I guess we
old timers all have a nostalgia about those halcyon days of simplicity when
thank God there were no founders and no money and there were no meeting places,
just parlors. Annie and Lois baking cakes and making coffee for those drunks in
the living room. We didn't even have a name! We just called ourselves a bunch of
drunks trying to get sober. We were more anonymous than we are now. Yes, it was
all very simple. But, here was a new realization, what was the responsibility of
the forty men to those who did not know?
Well, I have been in the world of business, a rather hectic world of business,
the world of Wall Street. I suspect that I was a good deal of a promoter and a
bit of a salesman, rather better than I am here today. So I began to think in
business man's terms. We had discovered that the hospitals did not want us
drinkers because, we were poor payers and never got well. So, why shouldn't we
have our own hospitals and I envisioned a great chain of drunk tanks and
hospitals spreading across the land. Probably, I could sell stocks in those and
we could damn well eat as well as save drunks.
Then too, Dr. Bob and I recalled that it had been a very tedious and slow
business to sober up forty people, it had taken about three years and in those
days we old timers had the vainglory to suppose that nobody else could really do
this job but us. So we naturally thought in terms of having alcoholic
missionaries, no disparagement to missionaries to be sure. In other words,
people would be grubstaked for a year or two, moved to Chicago, St. Louis,
Frisco and so on and start little centers and meanwhile we would be financing
this string of drunk tanks and began to suck them into these places. Yes, we
would need missionaries and hospitals! Then came one reflection that did make
some sense.
It seemed very clear that what we had already found out should be put on paper.
We needed a book, so Dr. Bob called a meeting for the very next night and in
that little meeting of a dozen and a half, a historic decision was taken which
deeply affected our destiny. It was in the living room of a nonalcoholic friend
who let us come there because his living room was bigger than the Smith's parlor
and he loved us. I too, remember that day as if it were yesterday.
So, Smithy and I explained this new obligation which depended on us forty. How
are we to carry this message to the ones who do not know? I began to wind up my
promotion talk about the hospitals and the missionaries and the book and I saw
their faces fall and straight away that meeting divided into three significant
parts. There was the promoter section of which I was definitely one. There was
the section that was indifferent and there was what you might call the orthodox
section.
The orthodox section was very vocal and it said with good reason, "Look! Put us
into business and we are lost. This works because it is simple, because
everybody works at it, because nobody makes anything out of it and because no
one has any axe to grind except his sobriety and the other guy's. If you publish
a book we will have infinite quarrels about the damn thing. It will get us into
business and the clinker of the orthodox section was that our Lord, Himself, had
no book.
Well, it was impressive and events proved that the orthodox people were
practically right, but, thank God, not fully right. Then there were the
indifferent ones who thought, well, if Smitty and Bill think we ought to do
these things well its all right with us. So the indifferent ones, plus the
promoters out voted the orthodoxy and said "If you want to do these things Bill,
you go back to New York where there is a lot of dough and you get the money and
then we'll see."
Well, by this time I'm higher than a kite you know. Promoters can stay high on
something besides alcohol. I was already taking about the greatest medical
development, greatest spiritual development, greatest social development of all
time. Think of it, forty drunks. (Attribution lost) (Chicago, Ill., February 1951)
Return to the Lets Ask Bill Page
Return to the A.A. History Page
Return to the West Baltimore Group Home Page